A Grace Life-Style

“Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so that they won’t be discouraged.” Colossians 3:18-21 NHEB

These encouragements are the Holy Spirit's way through Paul, not of instructing something they do not already know, but of encouraging them to live in the life-style of empowered grace. Colossians and Ephesians are often called "sister" books, because they were both written from Paul within the same period of time in his first Roman imprisonment. In Ephesians 5:22-15-33 the topic of submission is enlarged. For his purpose here, it is enough to briefly touch the items. 

The expectation of submission to one another within the covenant bond of marriage is deeply engrained in the faith walk. We are expected to have a life expression of love within our covenant. This is a "role" item, not a sex item. In other words, it is not "Woman be subject to man," which is so often taught in spirit as well as practice. As a wife, I am to live with a heart that is given to my husband's preferences. If any form of abuse enters the relationship, then the subject of submission is no long applicable. Abuse is a submission eliminator. So, brothers in Jesus, if you desire to have a wife/lover who choses to chose you, then you need to remember to treasure her and never, ever enter any form of abuse to her. Yelling, screaming, anger, rage, demanding, manipulating of any kind, are all forms expression which are abusive. So if we are going to talk submission, then we need to know that it can only occur within a relationship whose parties work to develop an atmosphere of trust and sharing. 

Submission is not something that can ever be demanded. It is a gift of the heart that is either given away as a gift, or it does not exist. Obedience, is not submission. Obedience may be demanded, but if so within a covenant relationship - the relationship has been violated in the process. Wives, we chose to give this to our husband. Husbands, this is not something you require, it is an attitude of heart the Lord requires of wives that choose to live in grace. 

Husbands, the admonition or encouragement to you is much more demanding. You must love your wives. Whatever they need, you provide. Whatever their heart needs for safety, protection, provision and heart-health, that is the love you provide. Sex is involved, but only within the sweetness of the provision. Sex with no provision is a form of abuse and rape. Just be warned in heart - husbands - the placement of "husband" is a life-long servant placement. 

Children's place in the home is one of obedience. As we love them and allow them to become adults, rebellion will occur. I think it is almost a "built-in" item so the children will eventually choose to leave the nest for their own life expression. However, as we love, nurture, discipline and provide for them, they will grow in honor as we allow them to become their own persons. 

Fathers, you have the job of making sure you do not push the children into anger and hate. Now do not think that that means they will never get angry with you, or say hateful things at you. They probably will. But do not be a bully to them, do not make fun of them, and do not ever put them down in front of others. Treat them with respect as those whom you love and cherish. That is Paul's point. 

Now in viewing our lives, I am aware none of us do these things perfectly. If you think you have managed, just wait a few more years and your children will prove that you have not been quite so perfect a parent as you once might have thought. We do not live in nor under law, and Paul was making certain to review the grace-life-style for the people in Colossae. He wanted them to be reminded of items they had already been taught by those who founded the church there. You will remember he had never visited them. (2:1-3)

So today, may we be encouraged as we move forward in our Lord and His grace-love.  He is able and we are sufficient in Him - in every form of failure, He has already made it right in Him and empowered that which releases His love to us, thorough us and to our world and circumstances.

Lord we rejoice in You and purposely embrace Your ways for our lives.